Satire V
Harvard Local National International Miscellaneous Editorials
Inside this Issue

Jews for Jesus Also for Romney

Superman beats up Superdelegate

Sundquist Declares Martial Law

Ike Turner Beats Tina to Death

I can move things with my mind. Check it out. Did you see that? I did that.

Shady Character Looks Like He's Hiding Something

From The Archives

New Daft Punk Fan Video: Critics hail new Daft Punk fan-video as "lazy." Read More

Featured Personal Ad

Seeking: Decoy torches. Lots of them.

Harvard
HUDS Boldly Adds Brown Rice To Dining Hall Menu - As students trickled into the dining
halls yesterday afternoon, many felt a change in the atmosphere. Several students described a sort of energy that they normally felt on days reserved for quesadillas and Udon noodles. They soon discovered the cause of their expectant nerves: steaming pots of brown rice.
Bok to Institute Senior Citizen-Friendly Reforms – Promises to "Party Like It's 1979" - Though only serving as president on an interim basis, 76-year-old Derek Bok is wasting no time in remaking Harvard, announcing at a faculty meeting last week that his primary initiative is to make the school more accessible to senior citizens
Moving Walkways Planned for Quad - Harvard Student Life Coordinator Mathias Johnson unveiled a plan yesterday to build automated moving walkways from all Quad House doorways to the Currier shuttle stop.
Local
Image Local Sinner Scoffs at God's Smiting Abilities - Area convenience store manager James Borowski is finding it less and less plausible that God is going to smite him down any time soon, despite the fact that he continues to live in a state of unadulterated sin
Willy Wonka Appointed Head of Big Dig - Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney has appointed new leadership for the Big Dig, naming Willy Wonka the head engineer of the embattled public works project. The move is the latest in a series of sweeping reforms following the July collapse of a ceiling panel in Boston's I-90 connector tunnel
Homeless Man Claims Obama - Though he is popular among voters,
Barack Obama has recently come under blistering attack by area homeless
man Joe Gibbons.
National
Image Kucinich Calls For “More Perfect Union” Between Humans, Elves - In a daring speech that put his political legacy on the line, Congressman
Dennis Kucinich has blown open the long festering debate over human-elf relations.
Million Monkeys at Million Typewriters Fail to Replace Screenwriters - In an attempt to replace the striking WGA, the AMPTP has purchased one million monkeys and set them in front of one million typewriters. Thus far, the experiment has not gone well.
Lincoln Ignored Historical Memo - While moving the table in the employee break room at the Library of Congress recently, librarians found a dossier of memos addressed to President Lincoln, which was being used to keep the table from wobbling
International
Image U.S. Demands Holland/The Netherlands Make Up Its/Their Goddamned Mind - After an independent study revealed
that 9 out of 10 American adults cannot find Holland on a map because they do not know what the hell it’s actually called, The United States government has decided to take action by forcing the country to “make up its goddamned
mind.”
U.S. Demands Holland/The Netherlands Make Up Its/Their Goddamned Mind - After an independent study revealed
that 9 out of 10 American adults cannot find Holland on a map because they do not know what the hell it’s actually called, The United States government has decided to take action by forcing the country to “make up its goddamned
mind.”
Osama bin Laden Protests News Feed - When Osama bin Laden jokingly Facebook-friended George W. Bush in late 2005, he didn't know that Mark Zuckerberg's team would one day create the News Feed
About Us | Contact | Advertise | Privacy
SatireV is intended for readers of age 18 and older.
Content found on this website is satirical and should not be construed as fact.