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English Department Catches Writer's Block

Big Bird Stuffed

Freaky Art Teacher's Class Begins at Daybreak

Don Rickles more Wrinkles than Rickles

Putin Claims Victory for 2012 Elections

Eyes, Nose and Mouth - Still in Fashion!

Tragic Death Inspires New Lifetime Movie: Not all hope was lost for Bertha Rinskertang after she failed to hang herself and accidentally fell off a 30 story building into a rusty junkyard. Indeed, the 14 year-old aspiring actress may posthumously get the fame she craved now that the Lifetime Network has announced their intentions to create a movie in honor of her tragic and unexpectedly pathetic death. Read More

Seeking: Necks for snappin' Arny@gov.ca.gov

Harvard “Hotness” Affirmative Action Program Draws Protest

Harvard students gathered outside University Hall yesterday to protest the news that the Harvard College Office of admissions has been using an affirmative action program that favors better looking female applicants. Read More

Harvard Student Receives B-

Students throughout Harvard University were thrown into shock over recent reports that Daniel Woods, a junior concentrating in Economics, received a B- in his econometrics class. Read More

Study Finds 6 out of 5 Harvard Males Gay

A joint study conducted by a team of researchers has found that approximately 6 out of every 5 males at Harvard are homosexual. Read More

Harvard's Party Playlist

What can HUDS do to weather the economic storm? Read More

Harvard Student Groups Run Out of Acronyms

In a recent development that continues to baffle leading math experts across the nation, Harvard student groups have exhausted all possible acronymous combinations. Read More

Afroman Intended To Come to Satire V, Instead Got High

In what was considered Satire V’s biggest celebrity catch to date, rap artist Afroman agreed to host a roundtable regarding the legalization of marijuana. Read More

Harvard’s “Biggest Douche” Contest a 3,000-Way Tie

Following Freeze Magazine’s Mr. Harvard Freshman contest, the publication set out to find Mr. Harvard Douche, the Harvard undergrad who best exemplified the traits consistent with douchebaggery. Read More

Army Comp Leads to Several Deaths

In an attempt to raise its ever diminishing “rich white boy” demographic, the United States Army set up a comp here on the Harvard campus. Read More

Harvard Admits Record-Low Zero Percent

In response to the economic downturn and the corresponding decrease in the Harvard endowment, the Harvard Faculty of Arts and Sciences has decided to phase out education. All 28,675 applicants for the Harvard Class of 2013 have summarily been rejected. Read More