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Inside this Issue
Area Kenyan Just Running from his Problems Big Bird Stuffed Man Not Mugged on Late-Night Cambridge Common Stroll Child Unable to Find Candy, Puppies in Stranger's Van Total Asshole Excuses Himself With Mumbled Apology Fat Ass in Guess Jeans Still Pretty Obvious From The Archives
Special Feature: Top Ten Alcohol Safety Tips: Freshmen joining the Harvard class of 2010 were forced to take a six-hour session on alcohol safety before arriving on campus. After deep scrutiny, Satire V has discovered that the course overlooked some important alcohol information: Read More Featured Personal Ad
Seeking: Nothing other than what I've been trying to be lately. gavin@yardfest.org |
Article
How To Tell If You're Adopted: A Guide
Miscellaneous - 2006 1. You're not allowed to get a pony, because you might ride it back to your real parents. 2. Your parents don't really know when your birthday is. 3. Only adopted kids have to wear helmets. 4. Your brothers are black and you are light-skinned black. 5. Your parents sleep in the same bed. They are trying to make their own child to replace you. 6. Your parents are of the same gender or are infertile. 7. Mommy owns the orphanage. 8. Daddy sells adopted kids on E-Bay. 9. You think that your Mommy is ugly and you are pretty. 10. Both of your siblings are genetically predisposed to develop Lou Gehrig's disease later in life. 11. Your twin brother is adopted. |