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US Government Bails Out Area Man

Local - 2008

Facing unemployment and mounting debt over the past several months, this week Greg Samsfield declared bankruptcy. Congress stepped in to offer a $40 billion bail-out. Said Senator Chuck Schumer, “In the interest of the American people, and in the interest of invigorating the economy, it is only sensible that we fund Samsfield.”

Schumer proceeded to pull out a wad of hundred dollar bills, which he began throwing at reporters and passersby, promising to “make it rain on the American populace in the interest of financial stability.”

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