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Ralph Nader Runs Against Area Man for PTA Knuckle Sandwich More Knuckle Than Sandwich Sundquist Declares Martial Law Ahmadinejad: "I Thought You Meant Happy People" Area surgeon tears Chrones patient new asshole Gaydar Slowly Deafening All the Whales From The Archives
Point-Counterpoint: By Mary-Kate Olsen, ages 3 & 21: Some people think they know me. But they don't. I have been so busy seizing days that I've had no time to get to know those trifling whores. I'm so busy that I'm in a seizing daze - and that's a homonym, bitches! See, I learned that word (along with lots of other three syllable words) during my one year at NYU. -- College? Check. Read More Featured Personal Ad
Seeking: Necks for snappin' Arny@gov.ca.gov |
Article
Area Blue Artist Wants You Back, BabyLocal - 2008 Area blues musician Robert “Gloomy Tunez” Thomson used his latest release, “Scowlin’ at the Moon,” to inform the public that he wants you back, baby. He went on to indicate that he does not mean maybe. Thomson, who first received national attention in 2003 when you were “Sneakin Round at Night,” asserts that, were you to rekindle your relationship with him, he would have nothing to lose but the blues. Sources indicate that you up and left without sayin’ a word, and closed the door quiet so nobody heard. “You left me for some kind of lawyer or somethin’,” he laments, “but all that I know is that I need your lovin’.” The sentence, which usually wouldn’t rhyme, rhymes when Thomson says it. Tunez then cryptically added “Make it talk, son,” and proceeded to shred for like two and a half minutes.
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